Making Friends at University: A Practical Guide
- Revision Notes
- Aug 2
- 19 min read
Updated: Aug 19
Making friends is one of the biggest worries students have before starting university.
You may imagine that everybody else will arrive confident, instantly connect with their flatmates and have a complete friendship group by the end of Freshers’ Week.
Real university friendships rarely work that neatly.
Some students meet close friends on moving day. Others find their strongest friendships later through their course, a society, sport, work, volunteering or second-year accommodation. Early groups may change as students settle and discover who they genuinely connect with.
UCAS advises students that there is no pressure to meet their best friend during the first week. University provides many opportunities to meet people through accommodation, courses, societies, sports, events, jobs and online groups.
You do not need to become unusually outgoing or attend every social event.
Making friends usually involves something much less dramatic:
Being in the same places regularly.
Starting small conversations.
Accepting a few invitations.
Suggesting simple plans.
Following up after meeting someone.
Allowing connections time to develop.
This guide explains how to meet people, turn acquaintances into friends and cope if university feels lonelier than you expected.
Is It Normal to Worry About Making Friends?
Yes.
Starting university removes many of the structures that previously helped friendships develop.
At school or college, you may have:
Known people for years.
Shared a timetable.
Lived near your friends.
Seen the same group every day.
Had friendships connected to family or local activities.
At university, you may suddenly be surrounded by unfamiliar people.
You might worry that:
You are too shy.
Everybody else has already made friends.
You will not fit in.
You do not enjoy drinking or clubbing.
Your flatmates will be very different from you.
You will not know how to start conversations.
Existing friends will move on without you.
Social anxiety will make meeting people difficult.
Many students around you will have similar concerns, including some of the people who appear extremely confident.
Student Minds notes that people who seem to be at the centre of an established social group may still be worried about making connections themselves.
You are not the only person hoping somebody else starts the conversation.
How Long Does It Take to Make Friends at University?
There is no standard timetable.
You may meet people quickly, but building a genuine friendship normally takes repeated contact.
The first person you speak to may become a close friend. They may also become someone you smile at occasionally while both pretending to remember where you first met.
Student Minds emphasises that making friends takes time and that students should not expect to meet their closest friends in the first week.
Friendships may develop:
During Freshers’ Week.
Once lectures begin.
Through regular seminars.
After joining a society.
During group projects.
Through a part-time job.
During placements.
In second-year accommodation.
Much later in the course.
Do not interpret a quiet first week as evidence that you will be lonely for the next three years.
The Difference Between Meeting People and Making Friends
University makes it easy to meet a large number of people.
You may meet:
Flatmates.
Students on your corridor.
Coursemates.
Society members.
Sports teammates.
People at events.
Colleagues.
Friends of friends.
However, meeting someone once does not automatically create a friendship.
Friendships usually grow through:
Initial contact: You meet and have a short conversation.
Recognition: You see each other again and remember something about the previous conversation.
Repeated contact: You attend the same class, activity or social event.
Shared experience: You study, eat, travel or complete an activity together.
Individual contact: One of you suggests doing something outside the original group.
Trust: You gradually share more personal information and support one another.
You do not need instant chemistry.
A friendship may begin with something as ordinary as sitting next to the same person in three seminars.
Start Before University
You may be able to make a few early connections before arriving.
Look for official or moderated groups connected to:
Your university.
Course.
Accommodation.
Students’ union.
International orientation.
Commuter students.
Mature students.
Sports clubs.
Societies.
UCAS suggests that online student communities can help applicants find people on the same course or attending the same university before they arrive.
You could introduce yourself with a simple message:
“Hi, I’m studying psychology and moving into Oak Hall. Is anyone else on the same course or in the same accommodation?”
Keep personal safety in mind.
Do not publicly share:
Your full room number.
Financial information.
Identity documents.
Passwords.
Detailed travel plans.
Private contact information with unverified people.
Online groups can make the first hello easier, but you do not need to form a complete social group before arriving.
Making Friends During Freshers’ Week
Freshers’ Week creates lots of opportunities to meet people because almost everybody is new.
Students may be more willing than usual to:
Introduce themselves.
Sit with unfamiliar people.
Exchange numbers.
Attend events together.
Invite others to join plans.
Try new activities.
UCAS describes the first few weeks as an intense period in which students meet many people, while reminding students that friendships can also emerge later through societies, jobs and their courses.
Focus on making several small connections rather than finding one perfect group.
Try:
Leaving your bedroom door open while unpacking, where safe and permitted.
Introducing yourself to flatmates.
Going to the kitchen or shared area.
Asking someone to attend an event with you.
Sitting beside someone at induction.
Attending the Freshers’ Fair.
Joining a course group chat.
Going to one daytime and one evening activity.
Asking people whether they want to get food.
Read Freshers’ Week Explained for a complete first-week guide.
Simple Conversation Starters
Starting a conversation does not require an original or brilliant opening.
During the first few weeks, basic questions are useful because everybody is exchanging the same information.
Try:
What course are you studying?
Where have you moved from?
Which accommodation are you in?
Have you found your timetable yet?
Do you know where this room is?
Which societies are you thinking about joining?
Have you found a decent supermarket?
What did you think of the induction?
Are you going to the Freshers’ Fair?
Have you met the rest of your flat?
Do you want to get coffee before the next session?
The question itself matters less than showing interest in the answer.
Use follow-up questions:
“You said you’re studying history. Which period interests you most?”
“You moved from Manchester. How are you finding living here?”
You do not need to perform an interview. Share something about yourself too.
Remembering Names
You may hear dozens of names during your first week.
Forgetting one is normal.
You can say:
“I’m sorry, I’ve met so many people this week. Can you remind me of your name?”
Most people will understand.
To remember names:
Repeat the name during the conversation.
Link it to the person’s course or accommodation.
Add the person to your phone with a brief note.
Use their name when saying goodbye.
Introduce them to somebody else.
Do not spend the next three years avoiding someone because asking their name again became increasingly awkward after week two.
Making Friends With Flatmates
Flatmates are often the first people you meet.
Begin with small, practical interactions:
Offer tea or coffee.
Ask whether they want to visit the supermarket.
Suggest eating together.
Invite them to an accommodation event.
Sit in the shared kitchen.
Discuss what everyone has brought.
Start a flat group chat.
UCAS suggests offering a drink, helping with moving tasks and finding simple shared activities as ways to break the ice with new housemates.
However, flatmates do not have to become your closest friends.
You may be:
Very different.
On incompatible schedules.
Interested in different activities.
Friendly without being emotionally close.
Better as respectful housemates than constant companions.
A successful shared flat can involve politeness, communication and boundaries rather than an inseparable friendship group.
Read Living with Flatmates for advice on shared responsibilities and conflict.
Do Not Rely Only on Your Flat
Students sometimes assume that their flatmates must become their social group.
This can create pressure, particularly if early connections are weak.
Build several points of contact:
Accommodation.
Your course.
A society.
Sport.
Volunteering.
Work.
Existing friends.
Support or identity-based groups.
A wider network means one disagreement or friendship change does not leave you completely isolated.
Making Friends on Your Course
Your course provides one of the most reliable opportunities for repeated contact.
You already share:
A subject interest.
Timetables.
Assignments.
Lecturers.
Examination periods.
Academic concerns.
To meet coursemates:
Arrive a few minutes early.
Sit near other people.
Introduce yourself.
Attend seminars consistently.
Join the course group chat.
Suggest studying together.
Ask whether someone wants lunch after class.
Attend course socials.
Join the subject society.
Participate in group projects.
A simple invitation works:
“I’m going to the library after this. Do you want to work together?”
Academic friendships can gradually become social ones.
Joining Societies
Societies provide repeated contact around a shared interest, which makes conversation easier.
There may be societies connected to:
Academic subjects.
Sport.
Culture.
Faith.
Politics.
Music.
Theatre.
Gaming.
Film.
Food.
Languages.
Careers.
Volunteering.
Student media.
LGBTQ+ communities.
International students.
Disability or neurodivergent communities.
UCAS advises students to explore societies and sports during Welcome Week, but notes that signing up is not enough. Regular participation is what creates opportunities to build relationships.
Choose one or two activities you are realistically likely to attend.
A smaller group that meets weekly may be easier for forming friendships than a huge society that holds one crowded event each term.
Attend More Than Once
The first society session may feel awkward.
People may arrive with friends, the organisers may be busy and you may not speak to anybody for long.
Try attending at least two or three times before deciding that the group is not for you.
Repeated attendance helps because:
Faces become familiar.
Conversations continue.
Organisers begin recognising you.
Activities become less intimidating.
Smaller friendship groups start forming.
Familiarity is friendship’s slightly unglamorous but very effective assistant.
Try Structured Activities
Unstructured social events can be difficult if you are shy or unsure what to say.
Structured activities provide a shared focus.
Examples include:
Sports training.
Board games.
Volunteering.
Craft sessions.
Choir.
Theatre rehearsals.
Debating.
Quizzes.
Language exchanges.
Cooking.
Academic workshops.
Committee roles.
You can talk about the activity rather than inventing conversation from nothing.
Volunteer
Volunteering can help you meet people while doing something meaningful.
Opportunities may include:
Community projects.
Tutoring.
Environmental work.
Fundraising.
Student mentoring.
Food banks.
Charity events.
Campus campaigns.
Student Minds suggests volunteering as one way to build connection and respond to loneliness.
Volunteering can also develop skills and experience for future job applications.
Look through:
The students’ union.
University volunteering services.
Local charities.
Course-related organisations.
Community centres.
Get a Part-Time Job
A part-time job can create regular contact outside your course.
You might work:
On campus.
In the students’ union.
At events.
In retail.
In hospitality.
As a student ambassador.
In the library.
As a tutor.
In a local business.
UCAS identifies part-time work as another setting where students can meet people and build connections.
However, do not take on so many hours that work prevents you attending classes or participating in university life.
Turn Acquaintances Into Friends
Many students meet people but struggle to move beyond brief conversations.
The next step is usually a small invitation.
Try:
Do you want to get coffee after the lecture?
Shall we walk back together?
Do you want to study for the test?
I’m going to the society event. Do you want to come?
A few of us are cooking tonight. Would you like to join?
Do you want to sit together next week?
I’m going to the library tomorrow. Are you around?
Make invitations specific.
“Let’s do something sometime” is friendly but easy to forget.
“Do you want to get lunch after Tuesday’s seminar?” creates an actual plan.
Follow Up
If you enjoyed speaking to someone, send a message.
For example:
“It was nice meeting you at the society session. Are you going again next week?”
“Good luck with the assignment. Let me know if you want to work on it together.”
This does not make you desperate or overly eager.
Many potential friendships disappear simply because both people wait for the other to make the next move.
Accept Invitations Where You Can
You do not need to accept every invitation.
However, during the early weeks, saying yes to a few manageable plans can help.
This might include:
Lunch after class.
A society taster session.
A film night.
A walk around campus.
A study session.
A trip to the supermarket.
Coffee.
A flat dinner.
You can attend briefly and leave when you need to.
A social event does not need to become an eight-hour commitment.
Make Your Own Invitations
Do not assume you must wait to be included.
Other students may be equally uncertain about taking the lead.
Keep plans simple:
Tea in the kitchen.
Lunch on campus.
A library session.
A walk.
Cooking together.
Watching a programme.
Visiting the Freshers’ Fair.
Attending an event.
You do not need to organise a flawless party.
“Does anyone want to get pizza?” has launched a surprising number of friendships.
Making Friends Without Drinking
University friendships are not limited to bars and clubs.
Try:
Daytime society events.
Sport.
Coffee mornings.
Academic groups.
Volunteering.
Board-game evenings.
Film screenings.
Faith or cultural groups.
Campus jobs.
Walking or running groups.
Alcohol-free events.
You can attend some events where alcohol is available without drinking.
You do not owe anybody a detailed explanation.
Saying “I don’t drink” or “I’m not drinking tonight” is enough.
A friendship based on pressuring you to ignore your preferences is not a particularly promising friendship.
Making Friends When You Are Shy
Shyness does not prevent you from forming close friendships.
You may need a more gradual approach.
Try:
Smaller groups.
Structured activities.
Arriving early.
Sitting beside one person.
Preparing two conversation starters.
Attending events with a coursemate.
Using online groups before meeting.
Suggesting short plans.
Setting one small social goal each day.
A realistic goal might be:
“I will introduce myself to one person in my seminar.”
That is more manageable than:
“I must become socially transformed by Friday.”
Quiet students often build strong friendships through listening, reliability and genuine interest.
Making Friends With Social Anxiety
Social anxiety can make ordinary interactions feel threatening.
You may experience:
Fear of being judged.
Worry about saying something embarrassing.
Physical symptoms such as shaking or nausea.
Avoiding events.
Replaying conversations afterwards.
Assuming other people dislike you.
Difficulty entering group conversations.
Helpful approaches may include:
Beginning with smaller activities.
Going with one familiar person.
Arriving before an event becomes crowded.
Setting a time limit.
Preparing questions.
Using breathing or grounding techniques.
Attending regularly rather than relying on one large event.
Seeking professional support.
Do not wait until anxiety has prevented you attending university for several weeks.
University wellbeing, counselling or disability services may be able to help. The NHS notes that most universities and many colleges provide free, confidential counselling for students experiencing anxiety, stress, relationship difficulties and other concerns.
Making Friends as a Commuting Student
Commuting can make socialising more difficult, particularly when events happen in the evening.
However, living at home does not prevent you making university friends.
UCAS advises commuting students to use their course, societies, sports, university events and online groups to meet people.
Try:
Spending breaks on campus.
Joining a course society.
Attending daytime events.
Studying in shared spaces.
Arranging lunch after lectures.
Learning the last train or bus time.
Joining commuter-student groups.
Planning occasional evening activities.
Using lockers or campus facilities.
Asking friends whether you can get ready together before an event.
Avoid leaving campus immediately after every class if you want more opportunities to connect.
Making Friends as an International Student
International students may be adjusting to:
A new country.
A different language or accent.
Unfamiliar humour.
New social expectations.
Homesickness.
Different teaching styles.
Food and cultural changes.
Your university’s international office may organise orientation and social events. UCAS recommends using these opportunities while also meeting UK and international students through courses, societies, accommodation and sports.
Consider joining:
An international student group.
A society connected to your culture or country.
A language exchange.
Your subject society.
A general interest group.
Volunteering.
Sport.
Cultural societies can provide familiarity and support, while broader groups can help you build connections across the university.
Read Life in the UK as an International Student for more guidance.
Making Friends as a Mature Student
Mature students may worry that everybody else will be much younger.
You may also have:
Employment.
Children.
Caring responsibilities.
A commute.
Limited availability for evening events.
Different interests from some younger students.
Look for:
Mature-student groups.
Commuter events.
Course societies.
Daytime activities.
Professional networks.
Study groups.
Volunteering.
Family-friendly events.
Friendship does not require identical age or circumstances.
Coursemates can still become valuable friends even when your lives outside university look different.
Making Friends as a Neurodivergent Student
Social expectations at university can feel unclear or exhausting for some neurodivergent students.
You may prefer:
Predictable activities.
Smaller groups.
Shared-interest communities.
Clear plans.
Quieter environments.
Online contact.
One-to-one friendships.
Time to recover after social events.
Look for:
Neurodivergent student groups.
Disability services.
Quiet society sessions.
Gaming or special-interest societies.
Structured volunteering.
Peer mentoring.
Online communities connected to your university.
Student Space provides advice co-created with neurodivergent students about navigating university life and accessing appropriate support.
You do not need to imitate a very social or spontaneous version of student life.
Build relationships in ways that work for you.
Making Friends When You Do Not Live in Halls
Students living in private accommodation, with family or alone may not have an automatic group of flatmates.
Create regular points of contact through:
Your course.
A subject society.
Sport.
Volunteering.
Part-time work.
Student representation.
Study groups.
Campus events.
Peer mentoring.
Consistency matters more than where you sleep.
What If Your Flatmates Already Know One Another?
It can feel difficult when other people appear to form a group quickly.
Try:
Joining shared meals occasionally.
Suggesting a simple activity.
Speaking to people individually.
Spending some time in communal areas.
Building friendships outside the flat.
Avoiding the assumption that you have been deliberately excluded.
Early groups are often based on convenience rather than deep friendship.
The social structure of a flat can change significantly once courses and societies begin.
What If You Are Left Out?
Being excluded hurts.
Before assuming the worst, consider whether:
The plan developed spontaneously.
People thought you were busy.
Nobody knew whether you were interested.
The invitation was posted in a group you missed.
The group has not realised how its behaviour feels.
You could say:
“I’d like to join next time. Can you let me know when you’re planning something?”
If exclusion is repeated or deliberate:
Invest in other friendships.
Speak to someone you trust.
Avoid chasing a group that consistently makes you feel unwanted.
Consider whether bullying or harassment is involved.
Contact accommodation or student support where necessary.
Belonging does not require winning over every group.
Do Not Compare Your Social Life With Social Media
Social media shows:
Group photographs.
Parties.
Trips.
Celebrations.
Carefully selected moments.
It does not show:
Awkward conversations.
Loneliness.
Flatmate disagreements.
Cancelled plans.
Anxiety before events.
Evenings spent alone.
People wondering whether they fit in.
Seeing other students together does not prove that their friendships are deeper or happier than yours.
Limit social media when it repeatedly leaves you feeling inadequate.
Feeling Lonely Despite Knowing People
Loneliness does not always mean having nobody around.
You can feel lonely when:
Conversations remain superficial.
You do not feel understood.
You are always part of a group but never speak individually.
You hide important parts of yourself.
Your friendships feel one-sided.
You miss familiar relationships.
You have not yet developed trust.
Student Minds notes that students can feel lonely even while making friends, succeeding academically or appearing socially involved.
Try moving from group contact to individual connection.
Ask someone to:
Have coffee.
Study together.
Take a walk.
Cook dinner.
Attend a smaller event.
Close friendships are often built in ordinary one-to-one moments.
What to Do If You Feel Lonely
Begin with small, repeatable actions.
Leave Your Room
You do not need to attend a major event.
Try:
Studying in the library.
Sitting in a shared kitchen.
Eating on campus.
Going for a walk.
Attending one seminar.
Visiting a café.
Going to a society meeting.
Being around people does not instantly solve loneliness, but it creates opportunities for contact.
Create a Routine
Include regular activities such as:
A weekly society.
A sports session.
A library period.
Volunteering.
A regular call home.
A study group.
A part-time shift.
Routine reduces the need to make a new social decision every day.
Contact Existing Friends
New university relationships do not have to replace your previous friendships.
Stay in touch with:
Friends from home.
Family.
Former classmates.
Online friends.
Community groups.
Try not to rely exclusively on people far away, but familiar relationships can provide valuable stability while new ones develop.
Tell Someone
You could speak to:
A flatmate.
A coursemate.
A personal tutor.
A family member.
A student adviser.
University wellbeing.
A GP.
A counsellor.
Loneliness often feels embarrassing, but it is a common human experience.
The NHS explains that prolonged or severe loneliness can be associated with stress, anxiety, low mood and depression. It points students towards university services and Student Space for further support.
Use University Support
Student Minds recommends contacting university support when loneliness persists and becomes difficult to move through independently.
Support may include:
Wellbeing appointments.
Counselling.
Peer mentoring.
Group activities.
Disability support.
International student support.
Students’ union advice.
Chaplaincy or faith services.
Academic support.
You do not need to wait until loneliness becomes a crisis.
It Is Never Too Late to Make Friends
You may worry that everybody has settled into permanent groups after the first term.
They have not.
Friendships continue changing because students:
Join new societies.
Change accommodation.
Begin optional modules.
Start placements.
Get jobs.
Fall out.
Change interests.
Meet friends through existing friends.
Become more confident.
Student Minds emphasises that people continue making friends throughout university and that social groups regularly change.
You can join a society in February.
You can speak to someone new in second year.
You can decide that an existing friendship no longer suits you.
There is no closing date for having a social life.
Maintaining University Friendships
Once a friendship begins, it still needs attention.
Try to:
Reply to messages.
Keep plans where possible.
Suggest activities.
Ask how the other person is.
Remember important events.
Offer support.
Apologise when needed.
Respect boundaries.
Make time outside crisis periods.
Friendship should not depend entirely on one person organising everything.
If you notice that somebody always contacts you first, take a turn.
Be Reliable
Reliability builds trust.
This means:
Arriving when agreed.
Giving notice when cancelling.
Returning borrowed items.
Keeping private information confidential.
Paying your share.
Checking in when somebody is struggling.
Following through on promises.
You do not need to be available constantly.
You do need to communicate honestly.
Respect Differences
University brings together people with different:
Cultures.
Religions.
Political beliefs.
Financial circumstances.
Sexual orientations.
Gender identities.
Disabilities.
Family backgrounds.
Social habits.
Experiences.
Curiosity is helpful.
Interrogation is not.
Avoid assumptions about:
How much money someone has.
Whether they drink.
Their relationships.
Their identity.
Their family.
Their health.
What their accent means.
Their previous education.
Good friendship allows people to explain themselves in their own time.
Friendship and Money
Students have different budgets.
One person may be able to afford frequent meals out and trips. Another may be carefully limiting every expense.
Suggest varied activities:
Cooking together.
Free university events.
Walks.
Film nights.
Library sessions.
Museums.
Society events.
Games.
Picnics.
Free local activities.
Do not pressure people to explain why they cannot afford something.
When organising a plan, ask:
“Would everyone be comfortable with the cost?”
Friendship should not require financial stress.
Managing Friendship Conflict
Disagreements are normal.
You may experience conflict about:
Plans.
Messages.
Money.
Cleaning.
Noise.
Relationships.
Feeling excluded.
Group projects.
Different expectations.
Boundaries.
Before responding:
Allow yourself time to calm down.
Identify the specific behaviour.
Avoid involving the entire friendship group immediately.
Speak directly where it is safe.
Use clear, non-accusatory language.
Listen to the other person’s perspective.
Agree what should change.
Try:
“I felt left out when the plans changed and nobody told me. Could you message me next time?”
Avoid:
“You always exclude me and obviously do not care.”
Not every friendship survives conflict, but a calm conversation gives it a better chance.
Friendships That Feel Unhealthy
Warning signs may include someone who:
Regularly humiliates you.
Pressures you to drink or use drugs.
Controls who else you see.
Demands constant access to you.
Uses private information against you.
Borrows money repeatedly without repayment.
Ignores your boundaries.
Threatens or intimidates you.
Deliberately isolates you.
Makes you feel unsafe.
You do not have to remain in a friendship because you met during Freshers’ Week or live together.
Speak to:
Someone you trust.
Accommodation staff.
Student wellbeing.
The students’ union.
University safeguarding.
A GP or counsellor.
Police or emergency services where safety is at risk.
Supporting a Friend Who Is Struggling
You may notice that a friend is:
Withdrawing.
Missing classes.
Drinking more.
Extremely anxious.
Persistently low.
Not eating.
Sleeping unusually.
Talking about hopelessness.
Struggling with money.
Experiencing harassment or abuse.
You can:
Ask how they are.
Listen.
Encourage professional support.
Help locate the correct service.
Sit with them while they send a message.
Contact urgent help where they are in danger.
You cannot become their only source of support.
Student Minds provides guidance on supporting friends while recognising that offering mental health support can be difficult and that boundaries matter.
Do not promise secrecy when somebody is in immediate danger.
Making Friends Checklist
Before University
Join official course or accommodation groups.
Check the Freshers’ Week timetable.
Explore societies and sports.
Identify welcome events.
Prepare a few conversation starters.
Plan how you will stay in touch with existing friends.
Look for commuter, mature or international groups where relevant.
During Freshers’ Week
Introduce yourself to flatmates.
Attend course induction.
Sit beside someone new.
Join a course group chat.
Visit the Freshers’ Fair.
Try one or two activities.
Ask somebody to attend an event with you.
Exchange contact details.
Follow up after meeting people.
Rest when you need to.
During the First Term
Attend societies regularly.
Speak to people before lectures.
Suggest lunch or coffee.
Join a study group.
Spend some time in shared spaces.
Accept manageable invitations.
Create your own simple plans.
Keep contact with friends from home.
Ask for support if loneliness persists.
If You Feel Stuck
Try a new society.
Volunteer.
Explore a campus job.
Attend smaller events.
Speak to a personal tutor.
Join peer mentoring.
Contact student wellbeing.
Review whether social media is making you feel worse.
Set one small social goal.
Remember that friendship groups continue changing.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is It Normal Not to Have Friends in the First Week?
Yes.
You may meet many people without immediately forming close friendships. UCAS advises that there is no pressure to meet your best friend during Freshers’ Week.
How Do I Start a Conversation?
Use the situation around you.
Ask about the course, accommodation, timetable, event or society. Most new students expect these conversations and will be relieved that you started one.
What If Everyone Already Has Friends?
Early groups are rarely as fixed as they appear.
People continue making friends throughout university, and existing groups often welcome new people.
Do Flatmates Normally Become Best Friends?
Sometimes, but not always.
A good flat relationship may simply involve friendliness, respect and clear communication. Build connections through your course and activities as well.
Which Societies Should I Join?
Choose one or two connected to interests you genuinely enjoy or want to explore.
Attend taster sessions before committing, then go regularly enough for people to recognise you.
Can I Make Friends Without Drinking?
Yes.
Use daytime events, societies, sport, volunteering, course activities, work and alcohol-free socials.
What If I Am Shy?
Begin with small interactions.
Try structured activities, one-to-one conversations, smaller groups and specific social goals.
What If I Have Social Anxiety?
Use gradual steps and choose predictable, structured events.
Contact university wellbeing, counselling or disability services when anxiety is significantly limiting your university life. Most universities provide confidential student counselling.
How Can Commuting Students Make Friends?
Stay on campus between classes, join societies, attend daytime events and suggest plans after lectures.
UCAS recommends using course groups, activities and university events rather than relying on halls.
Is It Normal to Feel Lonely Around Other People?
Yes.
Loneliness can reflect the quality of connection rather than the number of people around you. It may take time to develop friendships in which you feel understood.
What If I Am Always the Person Making Plans?
Friendships do not always involve perfectly equal initiation, but you should not feel that the relationship depends entirely on you.
Try stepping back slightly and speak honestly if the imbalance is upsetting you.
What If My Friends Leave Me Out?
Ask whether you can join next time and explain how the situation felt.
If exclusion is repeated, invest in other relationships and seek support if the behaviour becomes bullying.
Is It Too Late to Make Friends After Freshers’ Week?
No.
Students make friends throughout their degree through new modules, accommodation, societies, work and mutual friends.
Should I Stay Friends With People I Met First?
Only when the friendships remain healthy and enjoyable.
You are allowed to meet new people, change groups and move away from relationships that no longer suit you.
Where Can I Get Help With Loneliness?
You could contact:
University wellbeing.
Counselling.
A personal tutor.
A GP.
The students’ union.
Peer support.
Student Space.
The NHS recommends seeking support when loneliness is severe, persistent or connected with low mood, anxiety or depression.
Final Advice for Making Friends at University
You do not need to arrive at university with a new personality.
You do not need to:
Be the loudest person in the room.
Attend every party.
Drink alcohol.
Become close to your flatmates.
Make your best friends in Freshers’ Week.
Say yes to everything.
appear confident all the time.
Friendship is usually built through repeated, ordinary moments:
Sitting beside someone.
Remembering their name.
Attending the same activity.
Asking a follow-up question.
Sharing lunch.
Sending a message.
Suggesting another plan.
Showing up again.
Some connections will remain casual.
Some early friendships will fade.
A few may become an important part of your university experience and continue long after graduation.
Give people opportunities to know you, and give yourself time to know them.
You are not behind because friendship has not happened instantly.
You are still at the beginning.
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